Dear Jennifer:

When I wrote that I wasn’t going to haggle with you like a rug dealer in a Persian bazaar (or “bizarre” if you prefer) - I meant that only as a simile, a figure of speech.

I cannot be more blunt than I have already been. I will only pay for those items I have expressly agreed to pay for in my letters to you.

As to the cable TV deposit, Karen, you should know that the landlord does not pay a deposit to his tenant, but rather a tenant pays a deposit to the landlord!

- Ryan Crabtree