Dear Ryan,

Well, I guess I’ve arrived! The house doesn’t seem quite as dreamy as I imagined.

I think the last tenants must have had bad feelings about this house because I can sense bad spirits here.

I’ve discussed this problem with my guru, Mr. Pavel Kumar. He is willing to exercise the bad spirits in this house for $250, as he is a good friend of mine. His regular fee is $500, so I’ve saved you 50%!

Can I get your O.K. as soon as possible? Mr. Kumar travels a lot, and we wouldn’t want to miss him.

Gabrielle

P.S. - Jennifer tells me your decorator is in Venice. Tell him he must see the Bridge of Size. It’s beautiful.