Dear Gabrielle:

I know that you and Jennifer have only recently arrived in the Bay Area. I don’t know what the rental market is like where you come from. It is possible that where you come from landlords normally pay for exorcisms.

However, I can assure you that landlords in this area do not pay for exorcisms or any other means of driving away bad spirits from their property.

If you speak to your friends who have lived in this area for several hears, they will confirm what I’m saying is true.

Sincerely,

Ryan Crabtree

P.S. –

I do not want you to marbleize the walls or wallpaper, print, or paint the walls either. Remember the rental agreement you signed prohibits any redecorating, altering, or remodeling of the building by you without my prior written consent.

R.C.